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Binding: PaperbackDewey Decimal Number: 362.734 EAN: 9780440508380 ISBN: 044050838X Label: Delta Manufacturer: Delta Number Of Items: 1 Number Of Pages: 240 Publication Date: October 12, 1999 Publisher: Delta Release Date: October 12, 1999 Studio: Delta Editorial Review: Product Description: "Birthdays may be difficult for me." "I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family." "When I act out my fears in obnoxious ways, please hang in there with me." "I am afraid you will abandon me." The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame. With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the twenty complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love--that he must grieve his loss now if he is to receive love fully in the future--that she needs honest information about her birth family no matter how painful the details may be--and that although he may choose to search for his birth family, he will always rely on you to be his parents. Filled with powerful insights from children, parents, and experts in the field, plus practical strategies and case histories that will ring true for every adoptive family, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew is an invaluable guide to the complex emotions that take up residence within the heart of the adopted child--and within the adoptive home. Average Rating:
 Rating:  - Not Really Twenty IdeasSherrie Eldridge, who was adopted as an infant, shares her insights about the deep-felt loss and guilt that can be part of the adoption experience. This was not always an easy book to read, especially in my role as a soon-to-be adoptive dad, but there were some powerful lessons here, as well as a wealth of ideas about parenting. At the core of this book is the idea of grief and mourning. Whether conscious or not, adopted children have suffered a loss, and they Eldridge believes that ... Read More Rating:  - A good book, but I wish it was even betterAs my husband and I consider adoption we are reading as much as we can to insure that our future child is raised with all of the tools necessary to be a healthy, happy human. While this book provides good insights into what adopted children may go through, I felt that the book was really designed for people who have not given much thought to the adoption process and it's effect on a family. While I don't want to go into parenting with rose colored glasses, I often felt that the book was negative ... Read More Rating:  - Depressing, and DiscouragingMy husband and I are in the middle of the adoption process, and this book was so dark and depressing that I could not get through it. It makes adoption out to be a terrifying, wounding experience that the adoptee will never get over. In addition, it made me as a prospective adoptive mother feel horrible and guilty for wanting to adopt a baby. Books like this will keep people from adopting and will prevent birth mothers from forming adoption plans. In fairness, it does highlight some important ... Read More Rating:  - See What the Kids ThinkBefore, during, or after you adopt read this book! It could prepare, protect, or propell your relationship with your adopted child. In my work as a speaker on family issues, I have adoptive parents ask for resources. This is one book I can highly recommend. The Birth to Five Book: Confident Childrearing Right from the Start Rating: - Discouraging and biasedI will only finish reading this book is because it's required by my adoption agency. I am looking forward to reading other books about adoption; unfortunately this was the first. Initially I laughed at the blatant bias, but as I continued to read, Eldridge's warnings about primal loss and unresolved grief painted an overwhelmingly discouraging and depressing view on adoption, one which is not shared by my friends and family who have been adopted. As mentioned in other reviews, to support the theory ... Read More |
